Welp, it's facebook official :) I'm no longer single. [[07.03.10]] And for once, I'm truly happy with that. Jamie has truly blessed me. He brings me to this little happy place that I haven't been to in a very long time. The smile on my face is real, and I can't wait for everyone to see it. :D I spent every day with him this weekend. All day for 3 days. By this time, I'm usually tired of hanging with the same person, but for some reason...I just can't grow tired of him. He thinks so highly of me, and sometimes I wonder why? He doesn't care about past mistakes, he doesn't care of past relationships. He cares about who I am today, and who I will be tomorrow. He leaves my past in my past, and expects me to only move forward, be better, but with him. It makes me feel incredible.
He told me today that I make him a different person...and it made me nervous. I asked him if it was good or bad. The good news is, it was a good different. Hearing him say that sent goose bumps down my spine. All along I've wanted to make something right with people, make people feel better about themselves, and make them happy....and I'm finally doing that. Or at least I hope so. He's a great person. He makes me feel better about myself. He makes me believe I'm beautiful even when I want to deny it. I want to feel this way forever.
He's been through a lot. And how he managed to be so strong, I have no idea. If I had ever gone through anything he did...I'd crumble. I would have given up. He didn't. And now...I look up to him. He's far from perfect, and so am I, but he's perfect to me...that's all that matter...right? He has completely changed me since day 1. It's a good change! I can honestly say I feel more confident in myself when he's around. 
Am I scared of committment? Am I scared to let myself fall for a guy I've known for a month? What do I do? I know I shouldn't be scared, but I really don't want to mess this new relationship in my life up. I swear, it's perfect. Every moment I'm with him is the greatest moment of my life. He makes me feel like I've never felt before. I don't have to chase after him, watch his every move, or ever worry about not trusting him cause I know he'd never hurt me. And that's one of the greatest feelings ever. [We're perfect.]
I want to make him happy. I want him to make me happy. If our relationship lasts a week, I want to make it the best week of his life. Honestly, I can admit that I have never given my whole self to anyone. I've always held back. I was scared of losing something that was mine...again. It's different with Jamie. Sure, we didn't meet exactly picture perfect, but everything now is perfect. I hope it stays this way for awhile. I honestly can't imagine myself without him.
Nobody is going to take him away from me. I'm not going down without a fight. We're two completely different people, with two completely different personalities who are pushing forward together. Ruin it? I dare you. I know he cares about me, and he knows I care about him.
My two little cousins from Florida are in town. Caitie comes up here two or three times a year, but I don't get to see Haley often. They both have been through a lot. I wish I could take their pain away from them. I wish I could make them happier. I wish I was as strong as them to face the day. I've been trying to hang out with them while they've been here, but I've been busy with class and everything. Please pray for them. I know their hurting, and I wish I could take it away from them. I know they'll succeed. I pray they do in every way possible!
I've got to stop living in the world and for the world. I need to be different. I want to be different. I want people to see positive in me, and look up to me. I want to make them proud. Working hard is my daily goal, but slacking is my worst enemy. Like I said earlier, I'm scared of messing up. I want to make everyone proud, and I hope I light something in them to ignite their potential to press on and be happy, and do their best. I love watching people succeed. I hope they can watch me. If you believe in your heart that you're strong enough to make it, accept things that don't make sense, and strive to be better, you have accomplished everything. And that...I believe...is one successful life.
